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Should I be concerned about him relapsing? (Read 1059 times)
washiegirlie
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I Love Being Sober!

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Should I be concerned about him relapsing?
Aug 22nd, 2010 at 9:11pm
 
I am concerned that my ex-boyfriend (and father of our 3yo) may be relapsing.  Just under a year ago he started attending sexaholics anonymous meetings as well as meeting up with a therapist on a weekly basis.  He was very consistent at first and refused to miss a meeting for anything!  The past month he has missed several SA meetings, partly due to his health as well as our child's.
This week he never made an appointment with his therapist and missed his meeting that was tonight (he stated he had no gas and only $1.00 in his bank account).  He borrows money from his parents to help pay for his therapist (not covered by insurance). 
I'm concerned about him relapsing and acting out.  I'm also concerned about whether he is really going to his therapist once a week or if he is pocketing the $ for himself.  I did try to encourage him to go to his meeting tonight and offered to let him borrow my car so he wouldn't have any excuses why he couldn't go(even though he has carpooled there with other members).  He doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about his sobriety, and as we are no longer together I don't push the issue.  However because we are sharing the responsibilities of raising our child it is very important to me that I know he is getting ongoing counseling and support for what I've come to understand will be a life-long commitment/challenge for him. 
I believe in being straight forward and honest with him so I'm planning on confronting him with my concerns in the next few days when the time seems right. 
I guess I have a couple questions...should I call his therapist as well to express my concerns?  Any ideas on how I can best support him, even though we are not in a relationship other than being parents?  Maybe this type of behaviour is normal for a recovering addict?
Thanks for reading, I'm excited to have found this message board...would love to hear anyone's thoughts or experiences.
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